Before and After

Its been quite awhile, just recently got back from America and been so free that i've basically been procrastinating the whole blogging thing. Alright so to tie everything together I guess things would have to start shortly before I left for Malaysia. About a day or so before that, went out to watch a movie with some friends. We wanted to maximize it as we were afraid that we might not get the chance after our results come out.

We left the hague and went all the way to watch the Pathe/cinema at Schevenegen because we had just missed the movie we wanted watch being Public Enemies.

The movie was pretty awesome and they definitely glamorized the whole bank robber life style and made it seem cool. Johnney Depp as always did a fantastic performance and kinda made you sympethize with Dillinger and see the law and the police more as the villains. Kinda makes you wonder if anyone during that era still alive today that was a victim of Dillinger or an ancesstor of a victim just how would they feel about the movie.

Anyway after the movie was over I pretty much had a John Dillinger phase furthered by the public enemies theme which was pretty catchy. In case your wondering what the song is called its "ten million slaves-Otis Taylor" and its awesome.

Pretty much after that I left for Malaysia, it was quite a different but fun stay their. I didnt take a lot of pictures if any because my camera wasnt working right shortly before the trip but happened after that time I watched Public Enemies. Its like Murphys Law. I also didnt tell a lot of people that I was coming back because I wanted it to have me being their be under the radar but news got out either way. I met up with all the close friends who already knew I was coming back. Theirs not much else to say, if you read my old post of the last time I came back its pretty much the same and i'd be writting the same thing again. I hardly got to meet up with Ben though because during my third week their he had to leave for U.S which was quite a buzz kill but its for his future which is cool. Also,when I finally got back to Holland,a lot of people got on my case for not telling them I was back and what not. I mean seriously, would you want to waste your time hanging out with someone who you hear from like twice within 6-7 months that feels out of desperation and/or courtesy instead of hanging out with people who you will genuinely have fun with. However that wasnt the case with everybody, I didnt let some people know because I didnt want other people they knew to find out and therefore had to play it safe. Either way I ditched the courtesy friends because I feel i'd waste my time putting effort into it and that would be just so "high school"

Which reminds me, everynow and again, I see a status on facebook and its all like "misses high school very much" and if its not that i'll get this person talking to me online going all hey I miss high school or I miss high school too and "Dont chu miss High School". Then theirs all those declerations of "Ï wish I could go back to high school again and lets relive high school". If its not to each other its to me and just for the record no I DONT MISS HIGH SCHOOL and are you people insane or just brain dead from sucking the dust from your sheleves. First of all, half of the people who are saying this now hated high school back then. Infact all they did was bitch about how much they couldnt wait for it to be over, when they werent bitching about that they were bitching about each other (the same people who are now sending "ï mish you to each other") and some of these people going all mushy over missing high school now were absent majority of the time. Absent, not because they were sick but because they hated it. Whats to miss exactly...backstabbing friends who are so insecure about themselves that they have to make you feel bad to make themselves feel better, shallow pretencious people on so many different levels, corrupt forms of authority and not to mention people who hate you simply because they desire to be you. Personally I was a victim of that, everybody hated me simply because they wanted to be me. Well get in line losers. Either way I just wanted to point out how pathetic you are for contradicting yourselves and just wanted to say how sad it is that you guys cant even outgrow that whole scene and not to mention still go by a play on words that was infact a crude insult. That is pathetic...it does make me happy however that the your lives must suck so much now that you revert to missing what was once the worse moment of your lives back then. Grow up people, I didnt go out with any of the courtesy friends when I came back because I didnt care about what they think anymore and just wanted to hang out with people I like.

Dont get me wrong, its not a disst or an insult , i'm just saying theirs a huge difference between missing high school and missing your FRIENDS!!!!!. For instance you can miss your friends without missing high school but now your just going back on everything ever said. Take Damian for instance,he hated it and does he say he misses it....nope because unlike everyone else hes not a hypocrite. Eveytime we talk on msn and mention high school its always about how were glad its over. So their you go, whatever it is you have to tell me about a reunion or wanting to meet up after how many years you can go stick it. I know who my friends are. Now thats done and over with, í'll be bloggin about my trip to america and uni stuff so till then.

Too Hot to Stop

I know this is odd, my next post is so soon but the reason behind that is mainly because I'm not sure when ill be able to access the internet and the pictures from my computer at the same time. So I have to post this long awaited post now or never and that a side going back in time, my exams are finally over and the sentence ive been waiting 2 long years to say has finally arrived "No more BSN anymore!!!!". So yea the holidays started and I basically celebrated pretty much the old fashion way...

It involved a lot of hanging out almost every other day, the good thing about living in Holland are the easy use of transportations through the train compared to having to reply on a car or a cab. Its cheaper and more enviromental friendly so we help the earth at the same time. YAY

I think we mustve seen every single new movie on its premier,the first day it was out we were their. If it was full wed go all the way to Schevenegen just to be one of the first to watch it, in Holland at least. The movies included Hangover, Transformers revenege of the fallen, Terminator, I Love you Man , Bruno , Duplicity and Ice Age 3 with the last two being sadly quite a dissapointement.

When we werent outside wed just chill indoors ya know, Playing a bit of xbox live and what not while making crappy second rated videos the world will never see. The holidays has allowed to seriously keep up with all the old movies I missed because I moved. This would include : Superbad, Knocked up, Step Brothers,Pineapple Express, Juno, Tropic Thunder, Hancock, Jumper, Hellboy 2 golden army and 300. I'm not quite done with my list though. I still want to watch Meet the Spartans and Disaster movie.
Stil
Had time to catch up with my best friend from the mainland more often as well. We usually talk most of the time but with the holidays and everything its easier to catch each other online and skype as the kids say these days. He's always fun to talk too and so we laugh our heads of so much It almost makes me feel like were back in O.U again. Ya know, a long time ago back when I still lived in Malaysia, some "friends" said that I wasnt really friends with Damian and that the friendship was based on something else but not mutual kinship. Anyway their strongest evidence was basically that I didnt know his birthday and he doesnt know mine. However with moving to Holland everything I began to realize who my real friends were and those "friends"arent really friends. Also, I came to realize with the whole birthday thing I dont actually remember or know any of my friends birthday without the use of facebook or friendster to remind me. For instance now that I have a new phone their was so many people I forgot to wish this year. So in the end, it wasnt the whole birthday thing that made me a bad friend. I just dont really care all that much for people. Plus since when do guys actually remember each others birthday, thats more like a chick thing and I'm no chick. Oh and while I'm at it, the holidays gave me the time to explore my new laptops features including one that can fix all those crappy photos my camera couldnt take because it was too dark.

This was taken at my first ball/prom in Holland, clearly you can see more then just shadows now :)

This was at Nicks Party ,I posted this picture in my last post so you can compare the difference and see how much its improved.

This was taken at my high school prom in Malaysia which apparently a lot of people didnt have fun at but like I said Holland makes you realize things. While something like that used to bother me I realized that I got paid for making a bunch of annoying people I hate misreble. What more could I ask for. Regarding the pictures, okay so their not exactly perfect but their pretty good compared to how they originally looked which was completely black. Sad thing is if I knew about this feature sooner I might have spent more time taking pictures in the dark compared to how pointless I felt it was at the time. Well thats about everything I can think to update with right now. This will be my last post for maybe a very very long time. So till then.

Beach parties and Sugar rushes

Guess who's back Back again Guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back

Its been an odd month, and I've just had a lot on my mind to take the time to sit down and do this. Anyway more on that later,just wanted to cover up everything that happen before first. Not to long ago I went to Nick's beach party thing.

Alex had slept over the night before so after chillin at the hague we eventually met up with everyone else their around 8.00 and because it was at the beach which is obviously a big place it took a lot of time both finding and walking to the place and the fact that it was windy didnt help either.
It was pretty fun,anyway in this picture if you pay close attention directly under my hand is my retarded camera that cant take pictures in the dark and yes I do know about turning the flash on but that didnt make a difference at all. Take this picture for example:

This one was taken with flash and yeah clearly its not clear but whatever the whole taking loads of pictures thing is overated anyway. I mean I just want to take a few key pictures to remember the moment by. That just makes me more badass....no that makes me superbad, which is better than badass.
Speakin of badass,some stuff at the party didnt turn out the way I wanted it too and so after like how many cans of red bulls I got into one of those moods I seldom get into. Like the last time I was in one of those moods I was singin akon and james blunt music in public out loud. Anyway, different situation so I just did some other sugar rush feeling stuff instead. I have a short video of what happen that night..

I had to shorten the video, some of the parts that got cut out included the whole me taking down 5 guys with nothing but a toothpick and getting asked out by Heidi Montag. I might delete the video in a few days anyway so what difference does it make.

Anyway after we were done hanging out with Jason Segal and Bill Hader we made our way home by taking the tram. Clearly somebody really had a good time. Anyway I was just pretty confused that night, a huge part of me still is and if your close to me then you already know what I was confused about.

Now that I think about that night again I'm kinda reminded of Superbad and that whole thing with Michael Cera's character Evan. Regardless it doesnt matter now, like everything else thats happened its in the past now and doesnt matter. Will update soon. Till then.

Last Day at School?

On the 7th May 2009 the long anticipated day had finally arrived. After waiting for two very very very long years it was finally my last day at BSN. To start with on the day its self they had this thing called Mock up day where all the students about to leave come to school dressed up in a costume and for that day play pranks on each other and the school its self. Very mature right?...yes very mature indeed. So take a guess at what my costume was?

I was a walking oxymoron, get it?. An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms like icy hot and bitter sweet. So me being the living embodiment of misery am wearing a Mr. Happy shirt. Pretty funny huh?...yea don't worry because nobody got it either. Instead I got called Mr. Happy the whole day :(

Anyway after school had ended their was an after school celebration on a boat trip that would last for 2 hours( my god these people must like each other for gods sake). So me and Alex got dressed up and were on our way when we bumped into the Veronica s at the train station. You know the Veronicas, those two really hot twin sister singers. So I ditched Alex to hang out with them because they were so persistent. We were about to really party it up "ya know what im sayin" but I found out they were Australian so I told I wasn't feeling well and went home. Not long after they wrote their untouched song so guess who that was about.

By the time I got back home Alex was already their and decided to sleep over for the next four days and that ladies and gentleman is how I celebrated my last day at BSN. I remember first arriving here so long ago and everything I've had to endure since then. I never wanted to come here, I was dragged out a life style that I was more than comfortable with and put into a place where I'm looked at like a fucking minority. Their was still so many things that I wanted to do and will never get the chance to because I moved here. I had to endure so much and all my own but I survived it and because of that Ive become a stronger person but not to say that their isn't any damage. I have become somewhat emotionally stunned as I don't seem to have the ability to care about anything that doesn't directly effect me. So am I going to miss my time at BSN?. The answer is clearly no, people are people and buildings are buildings accept One Utama. I am just so glad and relieved that my days their have come to an end. Anyway this might be my last post for a while because I have to deal with some stuff so till then .

Larry

Honestly their isn't much I miss about my life back in KDU. When I look back at it I just remember some of the worst memories that would make a war veteran wake up screaming at night and start crying like a baby. However I do remember the people who got me through it. One of them being non other than Alex Tan him self who's hatred towards everybody else outstretched even my own. Now, Alex being the funny kinda guy would make racist jokes and any joke for that matter that would make me laugh until I need my inhaler and either individually or together wed make nicknames for other people in the class such as "Oliver" and "Living Lie" and we would even use those nicknames in front of them without them even knowing who it was about. Whenever we made plans he would always show up on time and not fuck out at the last minute like everyone else. He was the guy who called me on my birthday to ask where my address was for the surprise party,he was the guy who pointed out everybody's flaws in class and turn it into a joke, he was the guy who thought me to stick my nose up whenever we were walking in O.U because we were SRI KDU students and now that I think about it he's still the only guy in Malaysia who I can make religion related jokes with and not get a lecture or judge for it. I know for a fact that high school would have sucked more if he hadn't been their to make it better. When I left Malaysia and would come back to visit he would be the most reliable one and during my last visit he even helped give me transport without me even having to ask. I spent so much time in his car that all his fall out boy music got stuck in my head even after I came back to Holland and because of that whenever I hear their songs it feels nostalgic like I'm back home again. I'm not entirely sure about whats going on now because Ive clearly been out of the game and the only people I do talk to from Malaysia don't even live their anymore so I'm pretty much taking shots at what I think is going on. Now, it would definitely be hypocritical for me to talk to anyone about that shit or to tell anyone not to do it. Life is fucked up, people are often nothing but shallow,selfish and self righteous and god will do whatever he can to knock you down. Its like chef said in southpark "You see Stan...god gives you something just so he can take it away". The sad truth of it is that life is only going to get worse because people will away suck and the longer you live the more you'll realize how much people suck. So why live right?......for me I think about it like this: what makes you think the other side will be any better? because if anything it'll be worse. God put us on this earth to make us miserable and if he says theirs a place worse than what we have now I rather be in the now then the other place ya know what I'm saying. To me no matter how crappy this world is at least we know its crappy, their are no surprises. So right now the best I can do to stick it to the "man" is to keep on living, delaying him from getting my soul. I do my best to be happy because each time me being happy is equivalent to flipping him off. I can see him now sitting in his chair rolling his sleeves saying"one day Alwi Ziyad, i'm gonna getcha". Point being, stick around man, if not than who else am I gonna watch crappy b-rated horror movies with and make fun of them? who else is going to question the faulty plot development? who else am I gonna make fun of people at clubs like bag pack girl with? In fact just today I googled painless suicide methods which unfortunately led me to some stupid lecture shits and one of them said "suicide is not painless, it causes pain to everyone around you who cares about you" because if the question was weather you mattered or not or if anyone care than we care man we care. Anyway I broke my only blog again after 10 days rule to write this until my next post. Till then.

Queens Night

Koninginnedag or Queen's Day is a national holiday in the Netherlands on 30 April or on 29 April if the 30th is a Sunday. Queen's Day celebrates the birthday of the Queen of the Netherlands. Apparently however the celebration begins the night before Queens day its self called simply Queens night which from what I hear is suppose to be the biggest night in Holland and despite the fact I abhor the weather I decided to conform and go out as well.

So right after school I went back home first to change while those who couldn't wait already went out first. Somewhere around seven I when the sun finally went down I figured it was about time and met with Farhan at the train station before meeting up with everybody else. He had just moved here from Malaysia and it was his first queens night too.

Although the celebration was happening everywhere the closest and most happening place for me was The Hague. By the time I got there the street was filled with people everywhere and a music/D.J station would be at every street corner so you wouldn't be able to walk far enough before hearing more techno music playing again.

Their were a lot of carnival games as well, like the kind you find at an amusement park. The one where you try throw a ball at a bottle, filling the clown head with water etc. Their were a lot of roller coaster rides as well but it didn't look safe enough and I rather die differently then being a statistic in a carnival accident. A side from that was my conspiracy theory which could actually be fact was that the huge amount of money you throw at these games and rides goes to the Queen her self which is suppose to be her birthday present I guess and I rather spend my money on my self than another person.

Like I expected and anticipated I met a lot of people from my their school as well. Their were the people I didn't want to meet , the people I wanted to meet and the people I really really wanted to meet. Quite surprised however that despite the massive scale of the celebration it was easy to bump into and recognize them and vice versa. Sadly their must be something about BSN students that make them stand out among all the other crackheads I was surrounded by.

Spent the remainder of the night just walking around and stoping at those music playing locations to chill "ya know what I'm sayin". A side from that I'm not quite sure what else to write. I suppose I could have put a bunch of pictures with everybody I took that night but last time I checked that's what facebook is for and well I'm not a bimbo either.

The only other thing I can think to mention was that the next day or so someone tried to assassinate the Queen of Holland. Apparently the guy was going through alot and decided to go out in a bang. Clearly he failed as he drove his car somewhere else rather than his target. Jeez, a lot of chaos seems to be happening in Holland this year. First an air plane crashes on their no.1 airport and now this. This was kinda a quick post after the last one considering my usual timing but thats what happens now that Ive reached level 65 in COD WAW. Anyway still lots more to do so till then.

Return to London

I'm finally back with a brand new post and with my sincere apologies as well. A lot of stuff has been going on lately keeping me occupied but to start with would be my return to London. I seem to have spent a lot of time their this past year and found it odd going their again so soon and on a school trip no less.

About a week after the drama exam was over I found my self on the way to the air port for the theater studies London trip and as sad as it is this was my first official international school trip to another country. Upon arriving to the air port the first thing I did of course was made all the teachers believe I had brought my brothers pass port instead of my own and the reason they were fooled by this was because my brothers picture is in fact in my passport. A mistake done by the dutch government when I first had to move here. Interesting visual effect really, even though my name is clearly written their everybody pays attention to the picture. Upon reaching the hotel the rooms we had to stay in were allocated to us with the problem being that their was an odd number and someone would have to sleep alone.

Because of that I volunteered to sleep alone and I think people got the wrong idea and felt sorry for me without realizing the fact that I actually wanted a room to my self rather than sharing one room with 2 other guys. Seriously, with a combination of personal space issues, mild O.C.D and xylophobia is it any wonder that the first thing I did in my hotel room was rapping out loud to my IPOD and when I wasn't doing that I was just chillin.

Woke up the next morning more than happy. Space, privacy and solitude really brings out the best in me so I cant wait for the dream of living alone to finally come true. Spend the next day traveling everywhere using London's underground system as a student of the trip we were given an oyster card that could be used for our whole time their.

Among the places we visited was the London globe theater and a modern adaptation of King Lear. Ive always seen posters of the globe theater around my English lit class room so it was pretty cool to finally be their in person. The performance of King Lear totally awesome as well(look at me describing a play as awesome,how times have changed).

By the time I got back my Hotel room I was more than exhausted due to all the walking around. So I decided to order some room service so I could continue to enjoy the joys of having my own room.

Another play we went to see was Dancing at Lughnasa by Brian Friel. Before watching the play I had read Friel's Translation which was a story that centered around the English colonization of Ireland and how the Irish people dealt with it. I guess I related to it a lot because the same story could be same about Malaysia. With that in mind I knew I would subconsciously compare the two plays together and by the end of Dancing at Lughnasa I decided I enjoyed translations more. But the play its self is still very good but dont take my word for it you can read the review from the Guardian as well http://www.guardian.co.uk/stage/2009/mar/08/dancing-at-lughnasa-shakespeare. Isnt it just awesome how I actually got to see not just any performance but the same one that the Guardian and many other critics reviewed.


By the time we got back I was starving but it was really late so everybody else went to the Subway next to the hotel and because I hate eating vegetables I planned to wait for everyone to be done and id sneak out to grab a bite later (another perk to having my own room). I would have made it too if Anthony didn't recognize me whilst I was trying to sneak out. Regardless it turned out okay because we ended going out to hang somewhere else instead.

All in all it was a really fun trip and it amazes me that most of the people here got to do this for most of their lives . Back home the furthest Ive ever gone on a school trip was the museum that was basically an hour drive :P. Also after all this I remembered an occasion where someone I knew was bragging and telling me about a road trip that he went with his friends. That person was trying to make me feel left out saying "too bad you weren't their" and highlighting the moments of his little trip with a glee. So after my London trip it really brings out the question "would I have rather gone on a co ed trip to another prestigious country and visit theaters that most people can only dream about or would I have rather gone on a trip with a bunch of other guys and one of them being a raging home sexual to places Ive been before. Yea, tough decision, sorry but I don't take it from behind and my heart goes out to those who had to endure that kinda of "anal" trauma during the trip. Anyway, my next post will be about queens night if I'm not too busy. Till then.